Promising falling!?絶対恋に落ちる方法？？

以前の授業ネタ。NY州立大学ストーニ―ブルック校の心理学教授アーサー アーロン氏が1997年に発表したintimacy（親密性）に関する説を紹介しました。

アーロン氏の説によると、準備された36の個人的な質問を互いにした後、4分間黙って見つめ合えば、二人は恋に落ちるというのです。(When I first saw 

this article in New York Times some years ago, I was like “Wow! Things are gon’ be so much easier, eh?”)

恋愛関係を含むおおよその関係構築の中で不可欠な『互いを知る』というプロセスを、超高速早送りバージョンでこなす、といった感じでしょうか。

また、『4分間黙って見つめ合う』意味は、相手を見るというより、相手に映る自分自身を認識するといったいわばself acceptanceのような作業なのかもしれません。

“So… fair percentage guaranteed to fall in love with these questions 

and a tight four-minute-stare…I get it.

But how do we choose “THAT SOMEONE”??”

今や恋愛アプリはただ自分に合う人を相当数の中からマッチしてくれるのみならず、関係の構築からデートの誘いに至るまでAIがアドバイスをしてくれるそうです。

あと数十年もすればサイバネティックアバターに『ねえ、ちょっと、彼女とのデート、代わりに行ってきて！』みたいな時代が来るのでしょうか…🧐

なんと他力恋愛なことよ…😵‍💫

以下、アーサー氏の36の質問です。

If it worked, let me know!😉😘

Arthur Aron’s 36 questions

SET I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

SET II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

SET III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.